June 19th, 2012 Jeff Ignoring Stella

So, Jeff REFUSES to answer any of my calls, changed his picture from Stella to a truck for Vanessa, makes up lame ass excuses to why he can't take Stella, when I ask him to get something... he gets something completely different.. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?! You low life son of a bitch, taking your anger out on Stella because your pissed at me for telling you the god damn truth. I cannot wait for you to have this kid to ignore it as well. Nothing will please me more than that god damn MISTAKE being fucked up for the rest of it's life. I hope he doesn't live so you can't have another person to neglect. I hope that she becomes even more of a psycho bitch for you to deal with for the rest of your life. Nothing will make me more happy than you loosing that kid. I wish you the worst life possible, all your fucking bull shit is just insane. Your acting like a whipped little fucking bitch. She doesn't have a job, you take care of her, you have to listen to her every fucking move or she'll kick you out. It goes by what she says, if she says no you can't see your kid then no you can't. Only if she wants to. You could see your kid at your parents house, but no your too much of a pussy little cunt to do that. You can't help out with bills, you can't help out with shit. I cannot wait for this child support to go through, I hope it puts even more of a strain on your relationship. I really hope you guys break up. I know it wont happen until after this mistake is born but I know you'll get sick of the responsibility. Your such a little fuck up it's not even funny. I hope your life is a living hell.

June 18th, 2012 Bryan Talk W/Lori

So you know how I have been telling you about how I'm not sure if Bryan likes me likes me or just likes me just for a booty call... Ok maybe I have and maybe I haven't. But anyway, I was talking to Lori about it and everything else and she said "you both seem like your guarded I think he does like you". Which makes me happy, I want to believe that but I don't want to get hurt you know? He's just so great, he texts me good morning and all that. Yesterday, he BARELY goes on facebook, he IM'd me on there. I really like him. I have a big crush on him. He came over Friday night and said we're going out, major turn on, so we went to Shawn's house hung out there for a while and then went to his house to watch a movie... However we never got to that movie. I really like him a lot. I always thought he was hot. When we were hanging out in his room, he asked what I was thinking about and I said that you have way more clothes than I own, he laughed and said some of them don't fit.. everytime I try to throw them out I think what if I get skinny again? Ha ha, we ended up having sex twice, we both fell asleep then Sam texted and I woke up... We were just about to go when we did it again. But instead of lay there we both got up because we would have fell asleep right away. Then on the way home, he asked about birth control, I said I already told you I had the IUD in... He said Oh yeah thats right, thought about it and asked how effective is it? I told him well I had it in for 2 years now and I'm not pregnant. He said "Oh so it's pretty well tested" I looked at him and started laughing and said um... yeah. He looked at me and said You know when you don't think things through before you say them, well that's what just happened. Ha ha it was kinda cute. He makes me smile :)

June 17th, 2012 Father's Day

Well, today is stupid ass father's day. Stella is with Barb and Dean because Jeff had to get drunk instead of take his kid... This is our conversation:

Me: Can you take Stella Saturday overnight?
Jeff: Sorry I have a family members grad party to go to this weekend
Me:Stella is your family too you douche. Plus, I'm positive Luke wouldn't care if she came.
Jeff: Not doing it drinking
Me:If I had a chance to take my kid who I barely get to see, I'd drop everything I had planned for my own flesh and blood. But it's cool, I'll ask your mom.
Jeff: U know ur not going to Luke's grad party ur not allowed
Me: I'm going out with my boyfriend that nite you jackass I wouldn't go anywhere I knew you'd be
Jeff: Sorry I can not watch her I will be drunk
Me: That's your choice to drink and not spend time with stella. Don't say sorry when you dont mean it.

Ever since then he hasn't text me back. I been trying to ask him to take her and no. He can ask to take her to the park with his gf who I wanted to file harassment on and invite me, idiot. And then I ask for a days notice and the stupid fuck wants to ask for her in a few hours? FUCK OFF JEFF! FUCK OFF! I swear to god if it wasn't for him about to loose his kid I woulda pressed charges on that fool. How can you not be there for you kid? FUCK YOU.

 Is it sad to say that I want his new kid to come out deformed and messed up? That I hope it doesn't survive.... I feel terrible, I mean I feel bad for the kid but I can't stop thinking that. I just can't. You can't be a father to your kid that you have now, why should you have another one? How stupid can someone be. I can honestly say that I am not surprised one bit that she is pregnant. I had a feeling she either was or was going to get pregnant. PLUS, he was begging for one ever since he got out of jail. Literally begging to have another one. Thank god I got the IUD.

I really just want to tell his crazy bitch, HA! He does not love you. He told me the same shit, how your the best girl ever, how he doesnt deserve you, how you make him better, and how he bought you a flower after you first had sex, and how whenever he feels like your super pissed at him and ready to walk away he comes back and says "Oh im sorry, I really want to change I just dont know how, I love you so much, I dont know why I do what I do" Yeah all that bull shit he told me too. Cunt. Your no different than any other girlfriend he's had cause he said the SAME shit to Cassy too.

I think it's weird hot his family is on my side and my sister and my mom are on his side. His family came into my work and talked to me when they left they said they missed me and how no one misses him. We had a great time, I do miss them... so so so much. I just really cant get along with him and that makes things awkward.

I have noticed how he isn't around his family that much anymore. Probably because he's embarrassed to be around them now. Ha ha ha bitch your life is fucked up and I hope it stays this way. Your such an embarrassment to everyone your around.  I cannot stand the stupid fucker.

June 15TH, 2012 Date W/Bryan

So Bryan had been so busy lately, with finding a house and all that I havent seen him for a week. So I been riding his ass the past couple days about him being so busy. Finally Friday night he came over and told me we were going out. I asked where and he said Canada. We went to Shawns house and then to his house. We had sex two times. Once when we were just hanging out on the bed and the next when we were about to leave. I kissed him when we were walking out the door, we were SUPER tired, and he said "ahh we gotta go before you get me worked up again" Ha ha. He kept asking me to sleep over but I had Stella. =/ I wanted to! But of course he was going up north Saturday and I had no Stella so that was a bummer. It sucked. But I told Lori about how it bugs me that he can go days without texting and she said its a guy thing. She wants to meet him, she thinks that we both are guarded. But idk I think he might just want me as a booty call. But I invited him out on the 6th or 7th. So WHO KNOWS! This is a test, if he takes it he's going to win lots of point and if not then I will be kinda disappointed and Idk if I will still talk to him. I hope we go out. I know next weekend he's going up north... He didnt tell me about that either. Maybe he is just as guarded as I am. Maybe he does like me. Idk we will see!! I'll keep ya updated! Promise.